You're insecure in the way you look

You hate your body in how much space it occupies. No matter how many changes you make to your sad soma, you'll still be disgusted by your own reflection, because you refuse to acknowledge, the way your view your body is really all determined by the attention you receive from literally any man around you no matter how much or little respect you have for them. Internalized misogyny and fatphobia dictate the way you view all aspects of your life and relationships no matter how irrelevant your corporal existence may be.